Spilt Blood
by Billy Tom Plummer Ledger
Summary: Tatiana is the girl you wish you could be, because in this story she gets Iggy from The Flock, living in Phoenix, Arizona she has never really felt accepted by her best friend or her mother - really bad at summaries! sorry
1. Chapter 1

"Futu-i! Fill'e bagassa !" I cursed in my languages. Something not many can do but I can and get away with it. Multi tasking. This day is the worst of all worse days. One is that my best friend hooked up with my crush and sort of boyfriend and. Kind of how she is my ex-bestfriend now. I walk the school halls and know my days of being invisible are over.

Everyone stares at me as I walk pass. They stop and murmur. Whispers form as the girls notice the reject walks the hall. I blow my long auborn brown bangs out of my eyes and hold my head up high. Halfway to my first class I notice the girl who has been my best friend for the past nine years of my life.

Ileala Reyes. She is your average beautiful Mexican. The glowing caramel skin and dark brown hair with the natural red high lights. She shows off her chest every day of her life and speaks Spanish half the time. With her is her other friends, Anabella and Marisol. All beautiful and incredibly smart.

They use to be my friends.

Now I am alone, and I head into my first period English class and take my seat in the back. This class is filled with all the preps and stuff. Girls in cheerleading uniforms and abercrombie and fitch attire. In fact **the **group is coming in right now. Carlie is the dumb blonde who cant tell the difference from the independent and dependent part of a sentence. Alyssa is the cheerleader who's mom had to beg to get her into regular English and out of remedial. Prue is the smartest with the 3.37 grade point average. Katie is the one who isnt in a unifrom and that is because she is already on the year book and secretary of the school.

Then Ileala came in. All of her friends following suit and laughing along with what ever is so funny. Mrs. King starts class and we discuss what to decorate our door with instead of learning anything. I cant take any of this. It is all so stupid, so superficial. I was going to go to home coming but then the ass hole of a date/boyfriend I had started seeing my whore of a best friend. So much for that. After class I am walking out and trying to pass Ileala with out a fight.

That doesn't work out.

In a blink of an eye she pushes my books down and then shoves me into the hard steel of the lockers. Pushing my hard back into the metal doors like no other. Drived by hatred she pulls me foreward and then back onto it again. I dont bother closing my eyes but keep them on her the entire time. She looks so… evil. Her eyes almost completely black. Again I get pulled and pushed.

"What you gotta say loser?" She snaps. She waits for a respond for a split second before shoving me harder into the locker. "What?" She yells. Locking my eyes with hers I see the golden brown color come back some. Some. "Tell me,"she whispered in a more desperate voice.

I spit at her. Right in those eyes.

"Go to Hell," I hiss and she punches me right in the eye. My mouth opened in a big O as I realize what happened. It all clicks together in my brain. Her fist with all those rings on aiming towards my face. Hitting a bit on the nose but mostly my left eye. "Curule! Sa-mi bag pula ?n inima ta!"

"Speak English you bastard," she orders me.

"Go fuck yourself!"I yell at her and she punches me again. More in the nose. Damn, why does she have to wear all those rings? Laughter howls from her throat. "Pezzo di merda," I whisper under my breath.

"What was that loser?"

"That was piece of shit you stupid fucking whore." I say as somber as I could possibly at that moment and she kicked me in the shin with those high heel boots of hers. Damn. Did she plan this? Are there spikes on her neck? Damn.

"What else you got? Let it all out Tate," she encourages.

"Slut," I tell her in a clear and penetrating voice. Another kick, this time to my stomach. Ughh, how much can one take before they die? "You stupid half breed slut," I tick her off. A punch to the mouth. I roll my tongue over my lips and taste the blood. It's like iron only smoother. Like silk. In a fury I shove past her and run as best as I could out that place. Through the front doors all the way past my apartment building and into the woods. All the while fuming at the mouth.

Alternating off my swear words from Italian to Romanian to Spanish all the way to Latin. Then finally in my heat of rage my maladroit-ness comes into place and I trip over a large root in the ground. Cradling my leg in my arms I try not to cry but to crawl away with very little success. Though after a little bit of it I finally find a nice and comfortable spot against I tree I can lean on.

Closing my eyes I try very hard to forget this day, the past few days. Hell, my entire life. Shifting my weight I am able to see someone heading my way. Their blonde hair and light blue eyes and very tall. About five ten or six foot or _something_. Who comes out here? Did someone find my hiding spot? Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no. Oh _crap_. Speedily I move out of his way and more into the tree. During this a few twigs under neath me rustle because of my movements.

"Who is that? Who's out there? Tell me!"

"I am _sick _of taking orders!" I yell out before I can catch my own tongue.

"Yeah, me too," he responds. "It sucks," I hear a rock being tossed.

"Yeah," then I hear him walking again and I back away. "Who are _you_?" I ask.

"I asked first."

Biting my lip I consider lying. I have an alias for situations like this ; Irina Toma. Then the steps slow down and head toward my direction. Soon enough he is so close I can hear his breathing. Then he kneels down and I notice the rags he wears. Unwashed and a little worn out along with torn in a few places that the stores did not put there.

"Are you hurt?" He asks, now shocked and concerned.

"You should be talking, what happened?"

"Long story," he replies automatically and reaches out a hand toward me and touching my arm. Right on the spot where the cloth covers my cut. Gulping once I try to speak again.

"Do you need help?"

"You should be talking." I smile at the reaccurance. Biting my lip again I look away. The way he looks at me, straight in the eyes. Not the amber brown one or the gray – blue one. But both of them. No one has ever done that before. Not even Ileala.

"What are you doing down here?"

"I'll answer that when you answer mine," he smiles as his hand moves down all of my cuts. My personal inflicted pain. Thinking for a minute I consider lying or telling the truth.

"Tatiana, Tatiana Remus."

"That's pretty, got any siblings?"

"Used to, her name was Amber but she was adopted by our grandmother when she was born."

"Why?" This stranger asks, now intrigued by my life story.

"I'll answer yours if you answer mine."

He chuckles shortly and then continues on. "Iggy," he simply says.

"Is that like Cher or Maddona or do you have a last name?" I inquire.

"Its exactly like that."

"Hmn," I ponder. I guess I should of lied since he did.

"Here, let me help you up," he offers and then takes my arm that is _so _interesting and leads me to my hiding place.

"How did you find this place?" I wondered outloud.

"Just needed a place to stay." He sighs. He is evasive and vauge. Mysterious. He sits me down on the side porch of the house that comes out of the laundry room and into the garden outside. "I might have to run to a Walgreens or something to fix this –"

"no, no, there is an emergency First Aid kit in the kitchen. Along with both of the bathrooms in there. They have everything we need."

"We?"

"You have blood stains on your shirt, and you were going to go into town? Are you _serious_?" He smiles breathlessy for the first time. My heart skips a beat and then starts pumping really fast. The blood in my veins rushing against the pounding in my head. Then my heart dropped in all of this movement. It rested on that one smile. Then with out a word he vanished into the half building house.

This is used to be a beautiful victorian house built in the late 1800's and half of it was burned in a fire. Black spots covering most of the hardwood or carpeted floor. Most of the north and east wall burned but it still held up high. The staircases still leading up to the three bedroom second floor. I wonder if he is staying up there. The attic barely has a roof at all. That is what I like most, how you can camp up there with out bugs and bees surrounding you and just stare at the moon and count the stars.

Phoenix is a great place for that.

Sooner rather than later Iggy was back with the First Aid kit I had in mind.

"Uh, um, I have never really done this before…"

"It's okay, just listen to me, Ignatius."

"What?" He asks in a puzzled tone.

"Ignatius is from the Late Roman history, Iggy is the short form of it."

"Maybe that should be my last name."

"What would be the first?"

"James, it's James." He corrects himself. James. A strong name that is.

"James is the name of the two apostles in the Bible. I don't know all the facts about him, just that it is a Late Latin slash Christian name." Iggy gave me a look I was very used to, the Freak, Back Off look. Sighing I opened the First Aid kit to begin. "Okay, back pain first, Advil please," Iggy handed me two capsules I swallowed them on impulse."Alright, now there is an ice pack in there that I can use for my bruises and there is aslo comfrey leaves in there. Do you mind taking that in and getting a wash cloth and putting it under some warm water. Then crush the comfrey into the wash cloth and come back." Running back in to obey my words he does so and returns. I press it deep onto my black eye. Then I ask him to do the same but with a towel that will be larger for my back.

Which he does and then not listening to me he takes me inside on the uncomfortable lawn chairs in the sun room.

"Anything else?" He asks after he has done everything.

"No, no I don't think so. You've done too much actually, wrapping my bruises and all," I bite my lip to stop myself from asking what I could do for him.

"Is there anything else I can do?"

"There are a pair of crutches in the attic if you don't mind," I bite my lip hoping he minds. He doesn't. He is too perfect. And sooner rather than later he is back and helping me up in them. "Thanks, I'll see you later."

"Wait- you're leaving?"

"Yeah, see there is thing called dinner that I have to make so my mother doesn't starve," or waste the food money on crack or speed. "Look, I'll bring you something to eat."

"Ugh, Tatiana, I'm not exactly the only person here and our metabolisms are kind of… extroadinary."

"So I'll order a dozen pizzas. Is that good enough? A few different liters of soda?" He already is accepting it by the dreamy look I see in his eyes.

"That'll be good," he smiles breathtakingly again. "Ugh, let me give you some money."

"Iggy, if you are living in a burned down house that has been vacant for fifty years, I doubt you have any money to spare. Just let me. See ya," I pat him on the chest to say good bye but instead he grabs my hand and rubs at the textures and lines on my palm. Tracing them carefully with his fingers.

"Later Tatiana, later." And he let go of my hand and stared blankly at me for the first time. Looking away abruptly before I could lock eyes with me.

"You know, most girls like eye contact," I snap my fingers for him but end up losing the little bit of balance that I had at the moment.

"Tatiana," he whispers to me.

"Please, call me Tate," I say sarcasticly.

"Tate," he says clearly, "I. Am. Blind."

"Oh," I mumble under my breath. "Sorry."

"Did you do this to me? Oh, you bitch! How could you? What did I ever do to you, huh Tate? Seriously, all I did was help you and here you are cursing me with you're witchitka powers and poof! I cant see anymore!" Laughing my head off I see him smile again. A very adorable smile. How can someone so beautiful and fun and sweet be blind?

Smiling I said my good byes and walked down the deserted desert to the town square and arrived at my apartment building. The high school senior desk manager looks up and nods with the Ipod head phones still plugged in his ears. A group of divorced mothers. I know all of them by name, Joy, Rachel, and Veronica. They are all neighbors and have elementrary and younger aged kids. Besides them is a couple that lives above us arguing about some missing diary. There names are Jane and Ben Michels.

This place is a little if not totally weird. Walking into the elevator I get a new world of strange looks like Yesterday This Girl Was Running Up And Down The Stairs And Now She Is On Crutches? look. After a long and awkward while that seems to last forever I am finally on the eleventh floor of my building. Also known as the Waste Baskets Route. Every floor is a new route, Newlyweds, Divorces, Bachelors, Mexican Fiestas and Family, Disney (little kids under ten) and all other six routes/floors.

Practically hopping down the halls to my room. I hop to a halt right before 1114 and stand right there as I remember my key is still in my book bag. In my locker. At school. Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no,oh no, oh no. Oh _crap_. Hoping for a miracle or my mothers simple dumb luck I tried the doorknob and with the Remus's dumb luck it opened. Letting lose of one of the crutches and letting it fall on the cermaic floor tiles. It leaves a loud sound but I don't hear any stir. It's a Wednesday and my mother is still asleep and doesn't even know or care that I skipped yesterday.

Hopping to the kitchen on my left I listen to the messages left behind.

"Hello Mrs. Remus, we would like to inform you about your daughter, Tatiana-" deleted. "Hi Aurelia, this is Rochelle from work and we would like you to know that if you miss work again –" well that job is lost. "Aurelia, I need that rent, babe," our hispanic land lord spoke into the my ear. Erased. "Tatiana," a soft latin voice spoke into the phone."It's Ileala and I would like to talk to about Brevin, I am so sorry –" I deleted that one before the tears started to roll out of my eyeballs.

Turning on the light in the living room I found CNN on in the background and turned that off and my mother laying on the couch lazily. Her eyelids barely open and yet readable. Her cheeks were caved in and she looked anorexic skinny. Her long blonde curls to her waist and messed because of the lack of time to brush it. Back in the kitchen I grabbed some Ramen noodles and started to boil it as I ordered the pizza. Four cheese, one peperoni, one sausage, one with mushrooms, another with green and red peppers, then one with bacon, one vegetarian and two with everything. That and eight liters of soda. Four coke and four sprite.

Will that be enough?

Hopefully they will save the left overs in the fridge or something.

I finish the Ramen and then toss a salad into one of our plastic bowls because we are too cheap for real silver ware and get a plastic fork and some ranch dressing. Placing the food in front of her on our stained coffee table and a water. Shaking her she eventually wakes. Then in a grumpy mood she lunges for the food and I go to make coffee for her so she can wake up clearly but it is all gone.

I think I used it all.

Afterwards I grab the second crutch and grab the homephone by the elbow. It takes a while. It takes a _long _while. When I finally get I have a harder time dialing the number.

"Hey Iggy, this is Tate and I would just like to say I will pick up the pizza soon and be over there but if you could meet me at Papa Johns, tha would be great. See ya," and I hang up and head for my room and quickly going to my bureau. It has to be atleast twenty or so years old and hardly an antique. Stains, marks and other unidentified objects that still remain in it. I change out of my gray tank top that only goes down to my belly button and short sleeved torquoise shirt that was under it and change into just the gray shirt.

Now, jeans or a skirt? I have one skirt and its Ileala's, it is black leather that has the big buttons on the side so it is easily taken off. I go with that one and my only pair of nice shoes. Also known as Mary Janes, they were Kiersten's before, but then she moved to the rich part of town and left me and Ileala two things of hers. Giving me the shoes and Ileala this gold and white cropped top that all the guys love on her. The heels are called Oh Dear Sarah or something and are black and the heel silver.

Very retro.

In this new state of confusion with all of this new nudity I play with my hair by messing with it and then brushing it and messing with it again. Finally I have to choose between the one lip gloss I own, this sheer white one. Ughh, giving up I head into Aurelia's bedroom and raid her make up stash. Choosing out this light pink that I don't know how to pronounce the name of because it is like French or something fancy like that. Applying that I also notice lip liner and try that, eye liner, eye lash curler which hurts, and a mascara that is a shade darker than my actual tan color.

Finally I decide that if I leave it now there is a more able chance that I'll look like a dork.

Then I remember Iggy is blind.

_Oh, yeah_.

So this was all a waste of effort? Not careing I get on my crutches and hop out and the high school senior desk manager's eyes grow wide and the divorcees start to murmur and whisper about me as I pass them. Jane and Ben are probably already in their room doing the whole make up sex thingy. I walk all the five and a half blocks to Papa Johns and already there is Iggy and some other little dude. About a foot smaller and a lighter shade of blonde hair and darker eyes. He is cuticle. As in little kid cute. As in sixth grade cute.

Who is the other guy? Oh no, he is going to tell him how stupid I look. Brushing a piece of hair behind my ear I walk with my right foot first and left second. Right, left, right, left. Keep it steady, Tatiana. I keep on trudging over towards them and finally when I am close I yell Iggs. Suddenly his head popped up and so did the other one.

"Tatiana? You're here," he stated the obvious. Or not so obvious.

"Yeah, _I _called _you _, remember?" Iggy smiles again and for about a billionth time I forget to breathe around him.

"Yeah," he smiles wider now.

"Where is the food?" The younger one asks in his voice that reminded of me of a cave men on the hunt.

"Inside," I told them as I stepped forward and tried to open the door and not succeeding. Then Iggy went in front of me and opened it, letting his little brother in first and then me.

"Ladies first," he ordered and the little brother darted his eyes at him and I chuckled. In a blurring movement his eyes were on me with one eye brow raised. Gulping back I told myself he is just a sixth grader. He wouldn't understand. That and he _is _a guy. I tell the girl behind the counter my last name and our order and her eyes widen.

"_You're Tatiana Remus?_" She gushed. My face reddened and I could feel the heat of all the blood in my veins return to my cheeks.

"Yes, and I made an order, do you mind taking some of the time you get paid for to get it?" I snapped at her.

"Looks like you have all the time in the world," and she left with out another word to get the food and I was left there, completely embarassed with a hot blind guy and his younger brother. They help me carry the pizza, well they mostly carry it. Not even some of the drinks I could carry. After a while of me holding them behind Iggy takes the time to talk to me.

"You can go on home, rest, we'll take care of this," he assures me.

"Are you sure though?" I ask with uncertainity.

"Yeah," and he squeezes my hand before joining his brother. Leaving me feeling like a dufus. I cant go back to the apartment though so I find myself in the hospital. There I see the middle aged red head behind the desk who has worked here forever.

"Tatiana!" She cries out.

"Hi Mrs. Pearson, I was wondering if I could see Dr. Williams."

"Oh, honey, he is out today, but Dr. Jerguens is in."

"No, no, no, I need Dr. Williams." Marsha Williams was the only person I would know wouldn't ask for insurance a long with any other questions about how I got hurt. "Do you happen to know where she is Mrs. Pearson?"

"Family emergency."

"Could you page her?"

"Honey, Dr. Jerguens doesn't have another appointment for atleast an hour, and he would be happy to help you."

"I am sure of that but I _really _need Dr. Williams."

"Tatiana," Mrs. Pearson orders in a firm voice. "Go to room 128, I'll page Henry and he'll be there in just a minute." Did adults ever listen to us? Sighing I pick up myself and my crutches and walk to room 128 which is just on the right in another hall way. I find the room easily because I am here practically every day as a nurses aid. A nurses aid in training.

In about a few long waited minutes of boredom Dr. Juergens doesn't come in. Instead someone worse does. Dr. Hightower. A guy who could be very well my grandfather by his old age. That and his creep voice that sends the goosebumps to appear on my arm. It is like The Demon Of Fear from Charmed only in real life. He is a doctor.

They are the real demons of fear.

He bandages my bruises and rubs some stuff on them that make it sting like hell and wraps my shin up so I can walk better. And walking out of the hospital I don't bother to wave back at Mrs. Pearson. She smiles a huge fake smile and tells me to have a good day. Everything out of that women is pure pity. All fake.

Instead of going to the apartment or join Iggy for dinner with his family I walk towards the book store. In her usual corner is Kenny. Kenny a girl. It is short for Kendall and she is all pixie like and about five two and not growing. I'm five four and next to her I feel like a loser with out the 3.7 GPA.

"Hey Kenny," I speak softly to her as I see her sitting in the corner with one of her books in front of her. She's more of a creative writing type when the only thing I write are poems and songs. Not all that good either.

"Hi Tati, how is it going?"

"How is it going in that book of yours?"

"Very funny," she says as she finally closes it. "Maximum Ride saves the world again. Man, I would love to be apart of that. The action, the thrill, the adrenaline!"

"Oh yeah, the Maximum Ride series, you subscribed me to the website."

"Because you wont read the book," she pointed out.

"Why read it when you can tell me about it."

"Okay, who would you rather have – an amazing and beautiful poet who is Native American, or Mexican or something. Or would you rather have an incredibly smart and bomb maniac blind dude who can cook."

"Hmmm… I'll have to read it first," I sigh at my defeat.

"Okay, I'll go get you the first one," and she did and I was reading half way through by the time she yawned and told me she was going home for some sleep.

"What?" I asked in my confused state. "Why are you so tired, it's only three in the afternoon."

"Uh, Tati, there is thing called time and it passes with out our knowledge. It's eight forty… eight." She sighed. "And I am going home and going to take a cool bubble bath and crash on my bed in a nice little gown. Which reminds me, I have some old clothes that would look nice on you," she offered. I hate taking charity but I could actually use the clothes because some new jeans that could fit me.

"Alright, bring them by tomorrow." I answered and turned over the book, 7.99? I only had three dollars and eighty seven cents on me right now. "Ugh, Kenny, I don't mean to bug you but do you mind helping me pay for this?"

"No problem," she grinned with enthusiasm. Happy to help. "I can get you the whole set if you want…" And that is how we spend thirty two dollars and seventy five cents. I pay for three dollars and the change. What a big help. During htat night I fall asleep after starting the second one for a few chapters. My alarm clock wakes me up at five forty five am and I wake up and decide to go to school today.

Taking a shower I come to the facts. First, Iggy is either a liar or a nonfictional character. I am going with nonfictional character other than accepting that the guy of my dreams is lying to me. And the person I thought was his little brother is most likely Gazzy. Letting my hair air dry I dress in my regular form of a gray shirt and blue jeans with the silk gray I sewed into them.

In most cases I try to make my own clothes. The reason I don't have a whole lot. My mother isnt on the couch but standing over the sink with a cup of what I hope is tea and a morning smoke. Mental note : go grocery shopping during lunch. And after the long stares and a few side long shoves into lockers it is finally my fifth period lunch time. The principal already gave the long lecture during study hall fourth period about not skipping school anymore.

Yeah, I've really learned my lesson.

I don't want to come back after my lunch break but I have to. A Spanish test and my English essay is due tomorrow that I need to work on. Which I didn't have time for during study hall. First I go to the apartment and grab the food money stuck behind the cleaning supplies that my mother obviously wounldnt look at. I take the visa and head out. Walking the aisles of Dominicks I lead a cart in front of me.

Frozen Pizza, ice cream, yogurt, milk, orange juice, donuts, coffee stuff, and other food necessities. This is the one card that my mother doesn't pay for. My grandfather does and he lives in California as a District Attorney and his wife also known as Grams is a lawyer. A very rich family I come from but at the same time not that much money I have. Paying for the food I barely make it in time after putting it all the way.

My Spanish teacher Mr. Molina is pissed and tells me I can take it if I have a note. Thankfully I came prepared with a forged note by my mohter and a part not forged by the deans assistant. He grunts and allows me to take the test. School I am okay in. Book learning and all of that is easy. Being a neat freak and organizing everything in sight is also easy. An alcholic and stupid mother is not easy. As also is having an infamous crush who is blind.

After school I return to the apartment and blow off some steam while cleaning, doing homework, and studying. After studying biology I decide there is something else that I need to learn about. I go to the community library here which is pretty much the only quiet place in my life. I finish the second book and take out an old composition notebook to take notes about everything I've learned.

A little habbit of mine.

Then I draw a saucer eyed, manga version of Iggy. He smiles and I make sure his eyes have a certain glow in them with the charcoal pencil I have on me. I sigh and take another look at the watch on my arm. Seven twenty two. Bored I go on a walk and think over and over about what I just read. What might be true. I just have to find out for myself. Coming towards the garden I notice a little girl playing. She has the white blonde hair in two pig tails and a jump rope that is going unbelievably fast. She sings the Miss Mary Mack tune and I make a mental note later to teach her my version.

Taking a step closer I look up at the stars and notice something my logic says are hawks. Though looking at their movements it seems more… human. Gasping I take a step back. Big mistake there. A few dead twigs break under my feet and the girl stops playing and an older one that could most possibly be Nudge by her dark skin.

"Who's there?" She calls out in her girly voice. Out of all a sudden the ones who were flying swoop down. The one I assume is Gazzy lands right beside his sister and I'm guessing Max is the one who is standing in the center. It's a little bit like a triange. Fang on her left ready to attack and Iggy on the other side with Gazzy and Angel behind him. Nudge takes her place a few inches behind Fang. At least I think that is him. He does look like Kenny's type.

"Who are you?" Fang asks in the most seductive voice in the world. A poets voice. Gulping I take a step back into the dead woods readying myself to run. Although they are probably faster and don't trip as often as I do. I take a deep breath and another step back which is a huge mistake.

In the blink of an eye they are flying around me. Their wings in my face and circling me as I turn around and around again until I finally trip over my own feet. Reaching to hold my ankle there is another wing that brushes against my hand an then I am air borne. Someone is holding me not all that tightly.

"What are you doing here?" Max asks and I try to answer but all comes out is my panting and fear of falling. She lets loose of me and then holds onto me again. Oh, don't look down Tate, don't look down. "I asked you a question," she hisses in her firm voice.

"What are you? This is _my _hiding place."

"Not anymore," only one hand is holding onto me now.

"You know what? Just let me go. It would be a blessing right now in my life." She doesn't let go. "Need some inspiration," I offer. "Lets see, my _ex _best friend slept with my _ex _boyfriend. My mother is a complete waste case who doesn't even know my name because of the rare time she actually speaks to me. And when she does, all that comes out of her mouth is the F word. So why not? Just end this misery already." I told her.

Instead of letting me go she holds on tighter and returns me to the victorian. Gracefully landing and gently let me go on the ground.

"I don't kill," she tells me.

"Oh really?" I ask sarcastically as I brush off my shoulders of the dirt that is on there.

"Tate?" I hear Iggy call out and soon enough he is running to me with enough grace to make my mouth drop open in awe and envy. In a rush I am in his arms and he is holding me tight against him. It feels better than I ever thought it would to be hold. Whispering my ear he speaks to me.

"I was so worried when I recognized you. I heard you scream and I just froze…" and then out of nowhere he lets go of me. Stepping away he turns to Max. "How could you?" He yells at her. "She is an innocent and you would risk her life to something as idiotic as a night flight?" He argues.

And in the most sober and non angry voice I hear the sarcastic and amusing edge to her voice. "How was I to know?" She asked clearly. "You didn't tell any of us about your girlfriend," blushing I looked away and considered taking a run for it.

"We are faster and you _would _fall," Angel informs me in her strong voice. Well, she isnt exactly _little_. "I'm not," she smirks. Oh yeah, pissing off the telepath Tate, nice going! Giggling in her cute voice she skips next to Max's side and Max very protectively wraps an arm around her.

"I'll leave you all alone, don't worry, I don't have anyone to tell." Treating to leave with that as my final word Iggy stops me. He grabs hold of my wrist and traces a long over due cut.

"Don't leave," he begged me and my heart fell at the sound of his voice. Turning to his family he informs him of his thoughts. As if he needed to. Looking over to Angel I can see her angelic smile lit up her face. At least she likes me. "Look, Tatiana can be an asset to all of us. We can camp out here and she can get us food and heal wounds and maybe we could take _showers _!" I can tell that he is gaining some support by a whistle escaping Fang's mouth and I don't have to look over to see Max blush.

So that is what I am? A God damn freaking _asset_ ? What I can order the food and pay for it but when they leave I get kicked to the side? When he leaves. Suddenly that thought opened a black hole inside my chest. My heart ached by the thought of not seeing Iggy smile anymore.

"Ugh," I grunt and then I start speed walking out of there. I can not believe him. He was just using me. Just like that fucking loser Brevin. They are all fucking losers! Oh, sorry Angel, didn't mean to make this rated R. Fuming I start to cry and brush the tears away as I start to walk faster.

"Tate?" I hear Iggy call out, searching for his newly gained asset. "Tate!" Hearing him yell for me I start to run and trip over myself multiple times. One time I trip over one of the dead roots growing out of the desert ground.

"Gah!" I let out a groan and start to feel the pain kick in. Both physically and emotionally.

"Tate," Iggy said in a calm and somber voice. He was standing before me and knelt down and touched my ankle. His hand over mine. "How many times do I have to save you?"

"Oh, so I am an asset and a nusaince now, you know what? Go to hell!"I yell at him.

"Shh," he calms me as he brushes my bangs out of my eyes. How can he do that? "Relax, alright? Just trust me." He says in his soothing voice.

"Trust you?" A few fresh tears roll down my face.

"Hey, I'm the one who shouldn't trust _you_, okay? I've only been chased down by Erasers, and other robot ones, had to fight for my life and the entire God damn freaking world! You think it is easy for me to trust anyone anymore?"

"No," I answered and my hand reached for him and I wanted so badly to hold him to take away all those years and have him start over. With me. If only that was possible… "No, I don't think so," I repeat softly. With out another word he swoops me up in his arms and cradles me like a child in his arms and then flips me over onto his back.

"Hold on tight maladroit," he advised and then at that moment his wings thrusted out and we went into the air. The dark and warm night air brushing against my face and throwing my hair into the wind. It felt so… peaceful. And looking down onto my hometown of Mesa, Arizona I saw the beauty for the first time in it.

"Oh my God," I whispered as my arms tightened around his neck. "It is so beautiful," I stated to no one.

"I wouldn't know."

"You probably do, beauty is something you don't necessarily have to see. It is also a feeling. Like love," I rambled on and on.

"I might know that better than you think," oh. Did he mean me? I've known him for two days, barely and he likes me. I can not believe it. "After everything we have been through, I don't know what I would do with out the flock. We're like family." Oh.

Paranoid, am I?

"Where do I drop you off, Tatiana?"

"Jessup Street, Apartment building 403. It's easy to spot they are all in this sort of circular shape. Four of them and they are disconnected by the apartment garages."

"Doesn't really help me here Tate," he responded.

"Yeah," biting my lip I wanted to crawl into a hole again. This was a feeling I was used to. The stupidity and embarassment that came with being a complete idiot. "Turn right," and he did and we flew straight and then I told him to land. As he came to the ground he grabbed my wrist again and pulled me to my feet.

"Thanks Iggy," I said and by instinct I kissed him on the cheek.

Blushing he started to stutter. "Uh, I-I-," he gulped,"no problem," he added. Smiling I hugged him quickly before darting inside. The night manager was asleep on the pillow he laid out on the desk. His lean body laid out on the desk. I considered pulling a blanket on him but then this is Arizona. When I reached my apartment door a new wave of guilt filled over me.

A large Aldi's shopping bag was right before it along with a note.

**Guess you had something better to do,**

**Kenny Levin**

Oh crap. I forgot about Kenny and here she did something so sweet for me and I wasn't even there to thank her. Oh crap. I grabbed the bag and slung it over my shoulder like Old Saint Nick. Opening the unlocked door my eyes automatically went to the digital clock on the kitchen counter that was visible from where I was standing I noticed that it was about almost nine o'clock. Wow, time flys.

That is a really bad cliché now a days.

Turning into the bathroom first I started the bathtub and got a towel out and flung it over the railing. In my room I rummaged through the bag. A few lightly colored night gowns, a few new pair of jeans and regular shirts. Tie dyed, multi colored tank tops, a black lacey blouse and a yellow shirt that would go down to my knees that had a big smiley face with a wink on it.

Putting those back in I took out the one gown that looked comfy. It was white cotton with and pretty plain with the four buttons at the crew top. Picking up my bathroom bag out of my bereau I took it to the bathroom with me. Pouring the bathing salts over the water I turned off the water and striped out of my outfit and left my bathroom bag on the side of the tub.

The cold water felt so good against the dry heated skin I gained in the desert. I dunked myself under the water and stayed under there for a while. Running my fingers through my hair and down my body under the water. Surrounded by the water. The stillness. Bringing myself back up I took my conditioner out and did my nightly routine of this and went on.

In my bed room my hair was wet and braided now and I pulled my thin covers and duvet up to my chin and fell silently to sleep. Awakening loudly to the sound of my blaring alarm clock. I feel as if I got two minutes of sleep but I can not be late to school again. Grabbing a tee shirt and a pair of shorts I got dressed. Then realized what I picked out was actually a black racerback shirt and the yellow winking smiey and the only thing else I had was my panties. So I picked out a pair of dark denim jeans.

Getting my stuff together for school I began to walk out of the building after eating a frozen pop tart that I left in the freezer and left to my purgatory. During English class first period papers got thrown at me and when I was taking my biology test third period and Marisol and Adelaida started to back talk me.

"You know Tatiana is just being a wuss about all of this," Marisol stated.

"I know, its not like Brevin was a virgin when he started dating her. He's _a junior_, already. How could she be so blind to think he wasn't after sex."

"Boludo," Marisol agreed in Spanish. "She is such a bitch, alienated Ileala just because she understood her boyfriend better," she started to click her pen. Which she knew was my pet peave.

"Hacete cojer," I whispered under my breath. Go and get fucked I told them in Spanish. Take that you sluts. During lunch I went back to the apartment and gathered a basket out of the messy closet and put together some stuff. Stuffed animals, old clothes, and then went shopping with the Visa and got some conditioners, cleansers, styling and finishing by this iBella company at the near by Sallys and brought a few plastic bags and got a bunch of snacks. Pop tarts, protein bars, energy drinks, fruity drinks, junk food and healthy food. I got corn, apples, oranges, bananas, salads, ranch dressing, and a whole two fridge worth. It took all of the bags I brought and I carried them all in a stolen cart I found in the parking lot.

At the victorian I found Nudge outside with Max, both sitting on the porch in front of the dead garden outside. Then Max noticed me and nudged… Nudge and they both stared wide eyed at me and came running.

"Food!" Nudge cried in her perky voice of hers. Smiling I let take hold of the cart by its side and start grabbing for things.

"What is all of this?" Max asked, still awe strucked.

"Food."

"_I know that_," she sniped back at me.

"Okay, good, now do you want to know some more?" In a surprised tone she answered with a yes. "Alright now, I went to the store and did some shopping. I can go again later, oh and also," I handed her the basket. "Those are shampoos and stuff, you guys can make a list for the Assett to do. Or _get_," I told her.

"Okay," Max answered hesitantly. "Lets get in this inside, Nudge, go get the boys."

With Nudge gone Max shifted akwardly on her feet.

"So you did all of… this, for us? Why?" She intrigued.

"I just want you to know," what? I have a crush on your brother slash member of your flock? "That you can trust me," with my seriousness Max grew somber as my words sunk in.

"You got any chocolate in there?" And that is how I became friends with one of the coolest girls in the century.


	2. Chapter 2

Back in school it seems like nothing has changed. Like I hadnt spent the weekend under the stars with the man of my dreams or flying on the back of half avian half human mutants. I hate not being able not to brag to Ileala about how I am so over Brevin Dragos and her. But in all her glory she still over holds some power on me.

I hate that about her.

I hate how I can not tell her that I have a new friend who is practically a celebrity and a boyfriend… who doesn't know it yet. I got a pass during lunch and am in the library all period instead of heading home again. It's Monday and I have a test to study for Spanish. Last night I kind of procastinated with this task. Hanging my pencil in my mouth I conjured up the memory of Iggy's touch and his soft voice under the millionths of stars above us…

"And that is how the fair maiden over won the evil mistress," I ended the story I had just made up for Iggy. His arms cradled me into his side and a soft deep purple throw with a bright green one covering us. We were in the attic where the roof was none and looking at the stares.

The best part of this moment was the fact that Iggy was holding me and we were snuggling under the stars! How romantic is that? It's right out of a Liz Phair song. Iggy kissed my hair and tugged me closer to him. I snuggled into him and intertwined my fingers with his.

After my story I described all the constellations and the beauty of the stars.

"What is like?" Iggy asked all of a sudden.

"What?" I responded with confusion.

"Normalcy, the routine of getting up and going to an institution in the morning. Hanging out with friends and going to movies, dates."

"Its nothing special," I said quickly to make him drop the subject of friends.

"Not to you," he pointed out and started to stroke my hair again.

"Well… school is like purgatory and a dungeon mixed together. Friends are stupid and retarded. Completely useless. They come and go, you can never really count on them that much. I havent been to the movies that much because it is so much money at AMC and Nova is not worth it because everyone at my school goes there. Dates, guys don't really do dates because they know that the girl expects them to pay." I swallow back the tears of betrayal and embarassment of that horrible event.

"It'll get better," Iggy assured me and squeezed my hand. His way to tell me that he cares and all of that lovey duvey crap.

Hence the reason I forgot to study, I was too busy sleeping in his arms. After lunch the bell rang abruptly and scared the heebie bajeebies out of me. I gathered my books and collected them in my book bag. A regular JanSport black bookbag. I take off for the Spanish room, above on the second floor in room 241 in the Language Hall. Arriving there the teacher is handing out the test already and the second bell hasn't rung yet.

Or has it?

Taking out a number two pencil I started the text with a new definition of nervousness and anxiety. Nevoxiety. A new word. I answered every question with an uneasiness and uncertainity as the class grew on and I was one of the last ones done. I just hope it wasn't all for nothing. That Mr.Molina wont count my tardy and give me a zero or something…

In a few minutes of my rambling the bell rang and I was out of the class room in a split second. If only the day could go on faster so I could see Iggy again. He likes helping me with my homework and I like getting him books that have those specific written words for the blind. I also am searching for a map of the city like that.

After Spanish though, a little detour awakes me from this day dream. Out of nowhere I get pushed into the girls bathroom and pinned against the sink. Marisol Cesar holds me by the wrists and spits at me in Spanish. Telling me to stand up and stay silent. Too many S's to comprehend, chicka.

"Oh come on, this is America here, speak English," I shoved her off me. A little line Max scolded me with when I cursed in Romanian before her. Except her words were different. Behind Marisol was Anabella and officially, Ileala.

"Hello Tatiana. It is so nice to see you," she spoke in her vindictive voice.

"Nice to see you too sister," I remarked sarcastically and huffed my bangs out of my eyes once and for all. "Do you mind getting this over with? I have P.E. to go to. Or… I could just skip it and get the shit beaten out of me!" I clapped my hands together. "Wouldn't that be merry!" Anabella scoffed and Marisol just narrowed her eyes at me while the "leader" smiled affectionly. Still the same old Ileala.

"Would you like to hear something Tate?" Ileala spat out my name as if it was a curse word.

"Do I have a choice?" I scoffed myself.

"Not really," she was so close to me now that I pinned myself against the cold metal sink. "See, I wanted to let you know about a little secret I have been keeping from you," the second bell rang and her groupies still hung around. "Do you know how I got your boyfriend in my pants?" I shook my head to tell her no. "Didn't think so. See, I just pointed out all of your flaws.

Like how you talk to yourself, your lack of fashion and lack of a… chest. Oh and that thing you do. I believe it is called stuttering and how you are such a bad liar! Not to mention a complete klutz."

"And I need _you _to tell me all of this?"

She held up her index finger. "Still talking bitch," she ordered me silent. Laughing a short laugh for a second and a half. "Do you know how easy Brevin was? We were alone for a single second while you went to your white trash apartment. One night, I believe you remember it. It was the night you two faught. See he wanted to throw you a birthday party but you didn't want one. Being poor and a bastard child," I spit at her with my rage. She knew my soft spots. I hate her.

"Angry, I presume? He came to 'talk' to me that night," she uses air quotes over that word, Talk. "Yeah, all I had on was this long white formal shirt. Only buttoned a few but not that much. Kind of showy, you know. All I had on underneath it was undies." What a slut. "Now, see the point of all this is that you need to learn a lesson. He never wanted you. Never cared. Just used you to get to me. Because you found out, what was it, three _months_! Actually." She shook her head in disbelief.

"Man, were you so blind," she recalled.

"And you were such a slut. Seriously, did you use me too? Wait nine years because you knew I would get a guy you wanted and be envious." Her eyes flamed at me. "What? Cutting close to the edge am I?" I walked forward and she was walking backwards now. "Did you decide to have sex? Or did he? Did he come over that night and start it and you just plaid along. Using one of your brothers condoms and messing around on the couch. No, no, no!" I mocked. "I bet it was the kitchen table!" I yelled at her.

"SHUT UP!" She cried at the top of her lungs.

"No," I told her calmly. "I wont," and I left her to think about that but not long out of the bathroom did I break down crying. Tears spillling out of my eyes like no other and my head in my hands as I cowarded in defeat. Coming to the terms of what my best friend just told me.


	3. Chapter 3

Stress is the main product people buy in the modern world. That is what I am feeling tonight. It is Wednesday and I have been battling myself about this for a while. Iggy comes into the kitchen and I wish he could see me. In the only skirt I have and my white tank top from Kenny. She curled my hair in preparation of this moment and made it actually look good instead of boyish and anti-sexy. Now, it is proofed up only to get messed up.

I hope.

"Nudge said you wanted to see me? She also said you looked hot," Iggy explained and I put my hands in his and he pulled me tightly in. My head resting on his chest. "I bet you look beautiful, you are," he kissed my hair. This might be easier than I thought.

"Well speaking from you, I can consider that a compliment," he chuckled at my reference and I lifted my head from his chest and moved my hands to his face. Both on the sides holding onto him and bringing him closer to me. Without hesitation I wrapped my mouth around his and kissed him as deeply as I could. Pushing my tongue down his and rolling them together in a circular motion.

Quicker than I hoped he pushed me away without effort.

"What is going on here?" He breathed heavily.

"Well if you didn't cut me off you probably would know by now," and I pushed myself against him, my hand in his and our fingers intertwined.

"Am I dreaming?" He breathed more clearly now.

"No, but you can later," I kissed his cheek and went lower to his chin to his throat and then collar bone. "Just let me take care of you," and I took my free hand and pulled his beautiful head toward mine. Kissing him again, seriously, how hard can this be?

Pulling away again with his eyes still closed he was silent for a while. Eyes still closed. I guess it didn't make any difference to him though…

"Tate," he spoke to me. "Where is this coming from?" Switching my balance to my other foot I rested my hand on the table next to me on the right.

"I think we need to talk Iggy, see, when two people are attracted to another, things kind of go kaboom! As in clothes off and a new kind of wrestling that I'll teach you if you let me."

"Tate," Iggy grabbed my arm and pushed me away from him so I was a good foot or so. That was when it clicked : he didn't like me. Good thing he was blind or otherwise this would be more embarrassing. He didn't want me. I was offering him everything and he wouldn't accept. I could feel the tears threatening to escape.

"Oh! Okay, um, I'll just be going now," I said in my most fake perky voice I could manage. It didn't last; my voice broke on the last word. Passing him I walked out of there and through the dining room to the front door.

"Tate," he called after me and I kept my eyes forward.

"Sorry to take up your time, I'll bring some food tomorrow as usual," with their appetites I had to make daily trips. It wouldn't be long until Grandpa Remus or Remy as I called him called with the concerned money sprees.

"Tate," he grabbed my wrist and spun me around. "Listen to me," he ordered.

"I'm sorry already, I'll just go to the apartment already, you won't hear of me again." I promised him.

"Tate," he pleaded with me but I fussed and tried to get away but that didn't work. He was so strong. "Listen, already," he tried again.

"Just let me go Iggy!" I yelled at him and before I knew it I was crushed into him. His lips pressing hard into mine and hushing me for the moment as my hands went greedily to his face. Remembering this moment. I wanted to remember everything. And then all too quickly it was over and our tongues had to depart. I moaned and took his hand again, pushing myself onto him.

"Want to go somewhere more comfortable?" I asked him in what I hope was a seductive tone.

"Tate," he pleaded again. "Listen to me, Max is going to be here any minute along with the rest of the flock! I mean, think about Angel. And how jealous will Total be?"

"Total will survive. Besides," I laid my hand on his chest and unbuttoned his shirt from the middle. "The rest of the flock including Max and Angel and all of the other names I don't want to list right now are visiting Dr. Martinez for a meeting with all of those suits about that safe home of yours," and I was done unbuttoning and I kissed him longingly as I pulled the shirt off.

This time he didn't pull away. Soon enough I was lying on the dining room table and he was on top of me. Making it so easy. I loved his touch and the way his hand felt under my shirt. It felt so natural. As if we were connected. We were reading each other's minds and our lips were translating those thoughts into the other. His hands traced my body and my face. It felt all so perfect.

Then it crashed. Glass breaking and shattering everywhere. Iggy covered my face with his arm and was up and ready to fight as I sat up straight on the dining table and jumped off. Getting a head rush. I grabbed Iggy's hand but he shrugged it off.

"Get down," he ordered me and in a flash a few of those robotic erasers appeared in front of us. They attacked without a thought and Iggy fought them with such intensity it scared me. Then one struck me. Flying me across the room. "Tate!" Iggy yelled for me and took flight, grabbing me by the arms and pulling me on his back and I held onto his neck tightly.

"Tatiana, I need to breathe."

"Oh and I loosened my hold as he flew faster. Forever all I saw before us was darkness. I wondered if this was what it was like for him. I looked up to the stars and noticed the big dipper.

"I see a consolation," I let him know. "It is the big dipper, the three stars and four of them create a box and then there is the handle. Hence dipper. As in dipping."

"I would guess," he answered blankly. Which he does when he is somewhere else… thinking. Kissing his neck I want to tell him how much I care. How much I want to help. "Stop," he said in a weaker voice. More concentrated.

"Why?" I asked while I kissed him again. "You need someone to pamper you. Those Erasers could have hurt you or… worse," I choke out. Close to all out sobbing. A few tears roll down my cheeks, betraying my body and releasing all of my fears.

"Tate, don't already, this is hard enough. We have to get you somewhere safe –"

"I'm safe with you."

"No, Tate, you're not. You can't be safe with me, not now, not ever." He said so somber. "You have to be safe, I'll do anything and everything to insure that," he continued.

"Yeah, well," I looked for the words that I wanted to say. "I don't care."

"Did you not see what just happened?" He fumed and sped up; we didn't talk for the rest of the flight. All I could hear is our breaths echoing each other. Eventually my eyes closed and didn't open for a while.

"Tate?" I heard someone whisper into my ear. Rolling over I groaned and ignored him. Then feeling bad for doing this to him I rolled over and looked at him. He was kneeling before me and grabbed for my hand. Then someone was licking my arm.

"Are you okay Tatiana? I was so worried, are you sure everything is okay? You're not hurt, are you? Iggy! How could you let this happen?" Total ranted. I smiled at the familiarity and scratched his ears. He always liked that. Getting what he wanted he walked away on all four legs. Mumbling about something. I think I heard the term 'jack ass' though. Sitting up I saw the entire flock standing around. Fang with his arms around Max's waist and Nudge sitting in a corner asleep along with Angel on her lap. Gazzy was sprawled across the floor next to them in this… is this a cave?

"You too?" I blurted out.

"Yeah," Max replied, completely serious this time. Fang pulled her closer and kissed her cheek while whispering something sweet enough to make her smile in her ear. I got pulled away from their PDA by Iggy pulling me up.

"Come on, I need to take you home."

"What-why?" I stammered.

"Because you have a life Tatiana, and I'm not taking it away from you," Iggy explained coldly.

"When are you going to realize it? I have no life!" I yelled at him in a hushed whisper so the others wouldn't wake. Iggy sighed.

"I should have known you were going to make this complicated," he stated the obvious.

"You're damn right I am!" I yelled at him a little louder now.

"Shh," he shushed me while trying to hold onto my arm. I shook him off and tried to block the tears from escaping down my cheek. I didn't want him to comfort me just to leave. Everyone always has to leave. Can't anyone be original and stay for once? A father not bailing out when his girlfriend tells him she is pregnant. A best friend actually being there for you when you need her. Then the one person in the world you feel like you can trust your heart with - and you do - just goes and shatters it. Raising hit above his head and then throwing it hard against the floor. In the middle of my mental rant Iggy grabs me by the arms and throws me over his back roughly. His wings expand and the beauty catches me by surprise, again.

Before another word can come out of my mouth we are air borne.

"Why are you doing this? What if they come and you aren't there and they..." I tried to use my own words to explain how this was bad but they were betraying my every breath.

"That won't happen Tatiana, they don't want you, they want me. I'll be damned if it's the other way around." And just like that he left the silence to drag out as I fumed in my head and fought against my tears. This might be the last time I see him. The last time I can try to explain how I look or the constellations in the sky. And I am just crying in silence. How pathetic. I bend my head into his neck and kiss him there.

"I love you," I whispered into his ears. I don't care if he doesn't just as long as he knows. If he only knew how much. I want him to stay and to be safe and happy but at the same time I trust that he will come back to me. "You better come back," I warned him in my best firm voice at the moment but my voice broke.

"Don't worry about that, just worry about the other guys getting their asses kicked."

"The bad guys?" I asked him in my dumbfounded state.

"No silly Tatiana, all the other losers at your school who gives you a hard time. Because when I come back, they aren't going to survive. And I _will_ be back. Don't worry your imaginative head about that," and he took my hand in his and kissed it. Holding it right to his cheek. After the silence of the night dragged on enough we finally landed on ground.

"Cant you just stay for the night?" I pleaded with him one last time in my weak voice.

He shook his head and told me, "not now," he lifted my chin with his fingers and his face looked so grim it didn't seem like it was him anymore. And then in that moment where it felt like misery had won and all was falling apart he kissed me. I didn't like this kiss. It seemed too much like an end. A goodbye to the sweet memories I didn't want to let go. I _couldn't_ let go. Pushing him off me I didn't bother saying goodbye but ran away. Ran faster than I did to get to the locker rooms after P.E. or to the bus when my locker wouldn't open. I wouldn't let him see me cry.

That was what I did that night. I stuffed my face into a pillow as I clung to it and cried on and on until I was dreaming endless dreams. I dreamt of real wolves that night chasing me as I kept stumbling and tripping in the bare desert. I could barely see. It was like I was going blind. Then I tripped again and noticed what I thought was a body in front of me but I was mistaken. It was a hawk. And it was dead. Crawling backwards I cried in my sleep and started to scream both in reality and fantasy. It kept on going on. Bodies all bloody and torn apart. Max's mouth knitted shut as she was ice cold dead. Angel unconscious in her arms and dying, crying for her mother's comfort. Then Nudge was there – just lying lifeless. It looked too unreal. Her _not _talking.

I woke up right after school had already started. At seven forty five. I took my time getting ready and eating breakfast. I forged a note from my mom who was surprisingly at work and walked leisurely to school. When I was there it was already fourth period.

I didn't care though. I got milk spilt on me at lunch that day; coke the next, then Pepsi, sprite, orange soda… I think they are trying to say something but I don't have the energy to figure it out. After soda products don't work with me, they try to scare me. Slugs in my food. A few dead bees in my Fuze White Tea. A fake spider hanging from my locker. A real one in my hoodie that I think laid a few eggs on my head.

Then at the library after school I was studying and doing an essay for P.E. about how I will actually run the mile the next time when the banging starts. It comes from the computer in front of me, a loud noise of a dozen or so drums in unison. Out of reflex I turn it down so the librarians don't kick me out again. Yes, they have done that before. I open up the tab and read what it has to say.

I miss you like crazy,

Iggy

Smiling I read it over and over again for about fifteen minutes before the bell rings.

"Crap," I mutter under my breath and I grab my bag hastily and I lose the Instant Message and curse a few more times. Still I gather all my stuff and run all the way to Spanish class and still end up late and with a detention. Craptastic. The new word of the day. Though Iggy does make it better. Fang probably killed him for stealing his lap top away and I can imagine Nudge doing K-I-S-S-I-N-G like she did before whenever we would hang out. I don't pay attention to what Mr. Molina says but imagine what was going on when he IMed me.

Gazzy would have helped being a decoy and made one of his explosions as a distraction. Angel would be on their side, she would always hang onto her brother. Total might try to type something on the lap top and then complain about not having disposable thumbs or-

"Mind returning to Earth Tatiana?" Zach Lee mocks me from behind. I pass by the papers and return to Spanish class for the moment so I don't look like a complete idiot. Still in and out I imagine all of them kicking ass or flying with hawks or doing something so amazing and great and yet terrifying. The first bell rings and catches me off guard again as I stumble to get to class. In the hallway I notice Ileala, Marisol and Annabelle gathered around and try to ditch before they can see me. I don't know if they do but I continue to run World Geography. And getting the life beating out of me is the only thing that could make me run to World Geography.

After school my mom is home again and passed out on the couch with Ellen reruns in the background. I clean up around her and tuck the blanket up to her chin. I take better care of her than she takes care of me. On Friday of that week I come home with a black eye and possibly a few broken body parts I can't name and she is up and awake with Ellen in the background. Her eyes stare blankly ahead of her into nothingness. All of the lights are off and the curtains aren't drawn and when I try to do that she winces as if the sun light burns her.

I return to the kitchen and make her some of the edible food we have left. Bagel Bites. Yummy, right? I grab a bottle of water out of the fridge and make some warm coffee to bring to her. She acts like nothing is there as I stand in front of her. She just looks right past me. Not into my soul or heart but right through me. As if I don't exist. Walking away I enter my bedroom and curl under my blankets as if it isn't warm already. I don't bother eating because Bagel Bites is hardly my ideal meal. After a while of boredom and feeling like I am going to puke I finally rest in peace.

During the night I wake up to the darkness and my alarm clock glowing numbers. 4:58 it blinks. I pull the covers off me and jumped out of bed. My head started to spin around and my vision became black and blurry. I try to move but it just becomes worse. I fall to the ground paralyzed and stay there. Clutching the floorboards with my bitten fingernails. Carefully I gather myself up and stand up. Going to the bathroom in the dark I trip over myself once and my book bag, my mother's clothes that she left on the floor and she is still peacefully asleep on the couch. I wonder if she can even move anymore. I wonder if she ever tries.

The cold water splashes against my warm and burning skin for a good amount of time. I stand there in the shower, simply dreaming as I try to pull myself together. I had a different dream tonight. Iggy was in it of course and the rest of the flock. Iggy held me by my elbows and let the rest of my body dangle from the sky. The only part of the dream that kept me sane and from screaming at the top of my lungs was that Iggy was holding me. And Iggy wouldn't let anything happen to me. Never the less Iggy lets go. As I fall down I wake up. I wrap a towel around myself and prepare myself before walking into the dark hallways.

I grab a thick candle that has to be at least ten or eight inches tall and lit it by the lighter mom left in here. I hold it in front of me like how the virgins do in the horror films. In my bedroom I change into a pair of dark denim shorts and a navy blue tank top over a gray racer back shirt. Then I lay in my bed with the lights off and just day dream for a while with my pillow over my head.

Nothing happens. Iggy doesn't crawl through my bedroom window or sneak up under my blankets like I would imagine him to do so.


	4. Chapter 4

**Warning! Okay, a) I suck at endings and b) this is short but I felt like this is the way it was supposed to be, and c) yes I am a freak**

"Tatiana, please, Dr. Williams would like to see you," Miss Lee whispered behind me. Theresa Lee had to be five foot tall with the softest voice imaginable and the darkest tan a Mexican can get. She almost looks black. The most petite person in the world. Always saying 'please' to everyone. Turning around slowly I wonder why someone so small would want to work here. With blood and guts and all that crap.

"Okay," I mock her by whispering and nod myhead like she always does. Nodding her head and whispering all the time. Then I walk away and go to see Marsha. She's in her personal office that she shares with three other doctors. Doctor Nash, and Doctor Charleston. All old quacks and farts. In her office she is sitting up straight and her black hair is all curly and on top of her head. She's always been like a mother to me while my actual mother was a racist to her skin.

"Hello Tatiana," she says to me in her warm voice. A singers voice but I havent exactly heard her sing yet.

"Theresa said you wanted to see me," another thing I liked about her. She was casual, I could swear and call everyone by their first names in front of her.

"Oh yes, that quiet little creature," she agreed with me.

"That's her," I said with a smile knowing that someone agreed with me. "It is so fucking annoying," I mutter under my breath but sure enough she should hear but I wouldn't be punished. Because Marsha is the best doctor ever.

"Yeah," she says as she hesitates over telling me something. I'm sitting in the most awkward position in her chair and she is hesitating over something? "Tatiana, I have to let you go for a while, alteast until you get these grades up," my smile fades. I can feel the light crawl away from eye sockets and hear them scream Go Away You Stupid Brain! There is silence for a while as I process this.

"What? How, how did this happen? I get straight B's and C's, I-I-I don't see how this could happen?"

"All of these unexcused absences and you got a zero on your test-"

"No, no, no, that doesn't count these girls were harrassing me and kept on throwing things and I didn't _say_ anything, I screamed," I exclaimed.

"That might be true Tatiana but I cant let you pass just because we're friends," Marsha told me and it was then my eye sockets felt like falling out. "But if you want to talk about these girls," she offered in her sweet voice but I got out of there before she could go any further. I tore apart my aprong thingy and left it at the front counter with Mrs. Pearson to wash herself.

Walking out of the hospital I have two options. I could go home and make dinner for my _mommy_ or I could start taking control. I head over to the clinic that is right next to the hospital and sign my mother up for rehab. As if that will help besides that I go back to the apartment and gather all her trash in it. Beer bottles, full and empty, her cigarettes, her pills, everything and I shove in her face.

"Get you ass off that couch," I yelled at her in an acual controlled voice. I've dreamt about this my entire life and at this moment I believe I am dreaming and am soundly asleep in my bed again. "Get your ass out of this apartment, go to your friggin job and-" she took a fucking beer bottle out of the bag. I grabbed it from her weak hands and smashed it against the coffee table. I thrusted it at her throat and she jumped off the couch and onto the floor. Big improvement there, except I could of used a better tactic. "Get up," I ordered her in a calmer voice. She stumbled up and for the first time I noticed she was a little more than a head taller than me.

"Don't treat me like a child," she spat out in her weak voice.

"I will when you stop acting like one," and in a flash her head hit my cheek. Leaving a mark there for sure and burning my face. I could feel the tears come down my cheek. "I am going to go to a friends house and don't _ever_ expect me back because you are one mess I am not cleaning up," and I left her there. I gathered all of my stuff and put it into a duffel bag. Everything I owned into a medium sized duffel bag, a JanSport book bag and a magazine bag from Borders. Walking out I didn't look back. When I got to Kenny's house she welcomed me back after she got to yell at me for a while. She was happy after that.

For three days now I've been staying with her and trying to get my grades up so I could go back to the hospital. Which has to be the hardest thing I have ever done. Spanish is so confusing when you havent been paying attention. Who knew? I can hear Mr. Molina scoffing right now. Then something started to scratch at the window.

"What the hell?" I spoke outloud to no one. Kenny was out with her study group. A bunch of rich and snotty girls who – thank the Lord – don't rub off on her. All of their names are so predictable, Jessica, Sarah, Louise Anna, and Lindsay. Sounds like a lesbo confession about to happen. I lean over to close the window completely but something whispers to me from the darkness.

"Close that window and you die," something hissed at me. That voice gave a new wave over me. I don't know what to name it, amor, confusion with an accent on the o, miedo or alegria (with an accent on the I). I don't know.How the hell should I know?! "Open the window," he said slowly in a less scary tone. I obeyed him, of course and he crawled through as his wings tugged into his back. I could never get used to that. My eyes were wide and he could probably tell how weirded out I was even blind.

"Hey," I said after a while of silence. "How has it been?"

"Saved the world, almost died, almost lost everyone I care about, and then we reunited and now we are back and I wanted to come and see you before we started _school_, ugh, I cant believe how normal I have to be."

"You're still blind," I told him as a joke for reassurance.

"Yeah, that pleasant gift, I cant see you," he nudged my arm and held me closer to him.

"Yeah, but you can still kiss me," I pecked his cheek and he blushed, "You can you know, you don't have to ask," and because of that he kissed me. For a very long time, I might add. When he broke apart he whispered into my ear something I would never forget.

"I love you," and he stayed with me that night. We slept – and just slept- in my new bed in my new room and I had a new boyfriends. An official boyfriend. I can not wait to remember this and every thing else when I hear Kenny and her bimbo friends talking about who they like better, Fang or Iggy. Because Iggy is mine, and not one single blonde will change that.


End file.
